As some of you may know I had a hysterectomy in January this year after almost 10 years of irregular bleeding and endless appointments and procedures at the gynaecology department (had my own parking bay and stirrups). I fought extremely hard to keep my healthy and functioning ovaries as they are still beneficial to my well-being by producing oestrogen (although gynaecologist didn't have a clue what I was talking about!). The operation went as well as could be expected accept for my adverse reaction to the anaesthetic resulting in my doing a Reagan from the exorcist, projectile vomiting for near on 12 hours post surgery. Not what you need when you've just had your uterus removed and fear what remains may flop from the cavity between your legs with every wretch! This however is not the subject of this post. What I'd like to address is the hormonal turmoil which ensued resulting in my slumping back into the front line trenches of menopause.
It was around week 7 post menopause that i noticed my mood and emotions beginning to wobble. Up to this point I had recovered physically the best i could in my circumstances, a single mum of 2 teenagers at home, solely responsible for there care, financial support and every other role usually provided by a father, grand parents, Aunties and Uncles. In a nut shell I am alone, completely (that's a whole other blog believe me!). As i run my own small business painting furniture to provide for the household I had a work diary that I had re-jigged in order for my being able to take the last minute hysterectomy operation date i'd been offered. This meant that I had to get back to work ASAP so as not to, 1. Piss off clients. 2.Stay on top of my already cluttered diary.3.Keep a roof over our heads! If you are not aware furniture painting isn't just a case of wafting a paint brush about it involves allot of demand physically, positioning hefty pieces of furniture about to paint and getting into all types of positions to paint them, dependent on workspace (painting furniture too is a whole different blog!). The point I'm making here is i'd just had major surgery and was now throwing my weight about like a pole dancer and as if that wasn't tough enough the mental symptoms of menopause then decided to smack me around the back of the head with a frying pan sized uterus!
It started with the anxiety levels soaring sky high which i initially put down to the stress of the heavy work load etc, which lets admit it played a part. However, that old familiar feeling of being over whelmed crashed down on me like a tsunami and the tears started flowing and I realised, Holy shit I'm in trouble here. This was pre Covid lock down and school closures and it was when this was put into place it really became apparent that my rational was being savaged by my hormones. I wasn't concerned with getting infected or being unable to meet up with others and being house bound. Lets be honest i'd been isolated with no life and two children since i'd split with the children's Dad 9 yrs previous (no choice in that matter, he was addicted to heroin, crack and alcohol, which blew our little family unit to smithereens, but that's yet another whole other blog!). Insomnia had set in by by now and extreme mood swings. It all came to a head when i was having a lock down BBQ in the garden with the kids and my eldest who's 30 (don't ask...yet ANOTHER whole other blog!), not living at home but came back to join our 'bubble', but I just could not leave me bedroom for fear, anxiety, dread, agitation, exhaustion, feeling of impending doom, paranoia, guilt, anger....all the undeniable symptoms of menopause. I knew then I was up shit street with no data for google maps.
With the penny dropping I knew I was going to have a fight on my hands to be heard at the GP's as menopause means NOTHING to them. Untrained, un-knowledgeable, full of fear GP's just do not know what to do with women in menopause at my surgery. Feeling like hiding in a rabbit hole, curling up and waiting to be swallowed up by a fox whole I knew I was going to have to contact he menopause clinic i was under (which for the record I again had to fight to get referred too but that, you guessed it, is whole other blog. Hold on scrap that! If you look in past posts you can watch my demise as i attempt to get my clinic referral of which I filmed!). I just went straight in with a no nonsense email to the clinic which did result to my utter disbelief and relief, a response! I managed to get a telephone appointment after I had stressed in email how absolutely annihilated and left unsupported I was feeling with menopause symptoms after the hysterectomy. The Dr who called listened, believed me, 2 crucial factors in menopause treatment, and was able to offer help. I've only been feeling back to anywhere near level emotionally and mentally in the past 4 weeks.
My point of this post is that although, and importantly so, there is allot of discussion pre and post op relating to the recovery process of the major physical surgery, I had NO counselling or discussions regarding possible menopause symptoms and possible treatment options to manage them. Now as I know my ovaries, I mean onions, self educated I might add, prior to the hysterectomy I had already gone and got a diagnosis for menopause which I am aware, is unbelievably hard for some women to get. That said, I went for 4 yrs un-diagnosed although I presented all symptoms of menopause and none of the GP's joined the dots.... I DID! SO, I was already using HRT which again is another fight we women have to go through. But most women are going into these operations having everything removed with no discussion, even when ovaries may be healthy, and are then left floundering in the unknown dangerous seas of menopause with no means of navigation. And when I say dangerous I'm not exaggerating it's no wonder women's suicide rates increase in their 50's this can not be a coincidence surely!
I can not believe in 2020 women are being neglected in this way and there seems to be no where to go with it. The GP's are often unhelpful and have a fear of menopause and HRT due to lack of training and knowledge. These mental and emotional symptoms that are tearing women to shreds are not deemed important and shockingly do not warrant an emergency appointment at GP surgeries!. Half the population are women and we have to get this put right. There are brilliant, wonderful, pioneering women out here bringing menopause issues to the fore front at present. Diane Danzebrink with the fantastic, Make Menopause Matter campaign which started in 2018, Menopause Support web site. PLUS, the now bursting at the seams Facebook page, The Menopause Support Network. Also, Dr Louise Newson with the Menopause Dr web site and the new Balance app you can use to track menopause symptoms. I try my best to do my bit with my Twitter account and blog,I even took my menopause clinic review telephone appointment in Asda at the fish counter educating not only shoppers on HRT and hysterectomy, but even the sea bass had an expression of intrigue (I did notice a shelf of caviar fall and roll off rather speedily, weird that!). I just feel compelled to help with the campaign to get better treatment for women in menopause healthcare and women's healthcare in general! All I can do is tell my story and help raise awareness because I do not want my daughters to have the same soul destroying experience I and millions of other women around the world are having! Listen, I'm no expert or professional I'm just a woman in menopause but hopefully some of you will relate and take action if not only for yourselves, but for all the other women suffering around the world by becoming in your own little way a part of the menopause movement!
